Thankfulness Changes Things

Sometimes I write blogs that I don't post for the public.    Because sometimes it just feels good to write like I am about to share things with the world, but then I don't.  I re-read a post that I wrote a few weeks ago and at the bottom of that post, I wrote 

Thankfulness changes things.  

Because it does.  So right now even though I'm SOOOO missing familiarity, I'm thinking that even now, thankfulness will change my emotions, right?  

Today I thought, "Does contentment have to be something learned?"  Maybe - but then when I first arrived in Thailand, even though I was by myself for 4 days, I was so content.  I didn't have to learn how to be content right away when I got here, I just was.  I was filled with the joy of the Lord.  After 5 weeks though, now I'm thinking, "yeah, I may need to learn how to be content here... and practice thankfulness."  

Missing boutiques on Camp Bowie today

and Sunday afternoons at The Modern 

Chuy's salsa

and salads that I trust....

Just want a piece of dark chocolate

and to drive with the radio on

really just to drive. 

I feel like I've had some identity issues since I got here.  I am who God made me to be.  It's hard to try to replicate your routines in a new country, you just can't.  I don't necessarily want to, I want to learn how to be like a Thai.  :)  But I'm definitely having to adjust more than I thought I would here.  In planning how to "adjust" and "get settled" before I left the states, I thought I had a good plan from what I learned in Kenya.  

Go ahead and buy a yoga mat, some free weights, continue to eat raw vegetables and just buy a veggie wash, don't worry what people think if you follow all the latest styles; if you want to wear all that jewelry, then wear all that jewelry; find a coffee shop for relaxing, run for at least 10 minutes a day, drink a cup of tea every morning.  Listen to your music as loud as you can get it sometimes.

You see I had all these plans of keeping enough normalcy that I wouldn't have many problems adjusting.  

::sigh:: 

dear kt.  

Then my hair happened.  For some reason my hair finally got big when I LEFT Texas.  Even in my pageant days, my hair didn't get this big.  People have been so sweet telling me how they think it's cute no matter what - that really is sweet, and you know what - it does make me feel better.  But not being able to brush my hair without it looking like Rafiki has just messed with my entire identity.  

My fear is in the Lord.  My hope is in the Lord.  My fear is in the Lord.  My hope is in the Lord.  

I keeping thinking "I'll just embrace it, this will be new and fun!"  And I don't mind having big, curly hair here - I LIKE it.  But it's just another one of those things that I have to adjust to, and it's taking longer than I hoped to just figure out how to fix my own hair.  I didn't expect something small [BIG] like that to affect me.  It's adding to the emotions of missing familiarity, perhaps because it is a daily thing.  

Time to practice thankfulness:  

I can't believe I live less than 5 minutes from one of the most beautiful garden views I've ever seen. 

I'm so glad Nellie's here  

These little Asian lamps in my room are perfect

teachers at the school all seem to have compassion on one another, wow

Still can't get enough of the gorgeous green foliage everywhere

simplicity is freeing 
Thai food is really good 
i have fun shopping at the local farmer's market 
my bicycle has a basket and i ride it past rice fields with mountains in the distance at sunset.  --- seriously?  i thought that only happened in movies.  

Good practice.  That did make me feel better.  =)  You should try it, too.