"I have come that they may have life..."

"On this episode of The Bachelorette......."

just kidding. does anybody else read "boo mama's" blog?? she cracks me up with her commentary about every bachelorette episode - especially because it's usually the same comments i've made during the show! ha!

this post isn't entirely about kenya. it's just my thoughts that i want to write. last week, i was a counselor at a camp for kids in foster homes who have been abused. it was my second year to work at this camp, and this week was tougher than last year. i absolutely LOVED IT, though. someone said, "is working here reminding you of kenya?" and well....yeah, sorta, but not exactly. i was more comfortable here because i was in my own culture, and i guess you could say i was in my "element," too. so in some ways it was easier. but then, my kids this week were from america. and the tumaini kids are from africa. - two completely different cultures with completely different resources. this was the first time since i returned that i've spent so much time with lots of kids (substitute teaching doesn't count...it's a bit different). sometimes i had to stop what i was doing this week and say, "LORD, please give me patience," because the kids in kenya never EVER complained or whined. ever. about anything. on our way back to tumaini from church one day, i said, "i'm hungry," and solomon replied, "don't worry." and that was all he said...they know they're going to eat when they get home, so they don't worry about it or talk about it. they know and have security in their children's home.

but my campers this week change foster homes without notice, or they leave their parents and don't understand why...and in a new place, it's not easy to feel safe and secure, especially when you're only 6 years old.

this is a really weird thought, let me know what you think about it... it was almost tougher letting go of my kids this week than it was to leave tumaini. i think it's because when i left tumaini, i knew the kids were taken care of, secure, fed, shown & given lots of love, encouraged in Christian faith. sending my campers back with their foster parents or moms was heart-breaking. i wish i hadn't been the one who carried J's bags out to her mom's car...i watched 7 kids file into the backseat of a sedan. another one's personality disappeared when her foster mom came, and she wasn't interested in hearing about what a sweet girl she has living with her, or about how proud i was of all the brave things the little girl did at camp.

i was encouraged by the tumaini kids this week, actually, because they pray everyday for their family members to be saved by Jesus (if they have family that isn't at tumaini). i hadn't thought to pray for my campers' families; instead, i was just disgusted that people would treat kids like they did. there's deep truth in the scripture that says to pray for your enemies...it welcomes mercy and frees your heart, allowing a richness & joy to fill, trust me.

i don't know where my campers are now...one was picked up from camp by her case manager, which probably means she was on her way to a new foster home. all i can do is trust and believe that the LORD is taking care of them, and that He will somehow cultivate the confidence they built at camp and the truths that they learned. I'm glad there's hope...Jesus said he came that we may have life and have it to the full (John 10:10) - so regardless of the circumstances that those 6 year old girls live in and have been through, with Jesus, they can and will have joy abundantly.

all this to say, there's need everywhere. May things be on earth as they are in heaven...

When Isaac Ran Away

This is a picture of Isaac Gaitho.  He's 11 years old (we think), in Class 2, and he's a sweeeetie sweetie.  Isaac grew up on the streets, he lived on the streets in a slum in Nairobi for several years before he was picked up by Tumaini.  A young man from Georgia was walking through the slum when he encountered Isaac.  He had a short coversation with him, and when he returned home that evening, he couldn't stop thinking about Isaac.  He asked the organization he was with (I guess it was Heart for Africa or GOA - both with Tumaini) what he could do for Isaac, and a man said, "well, kids like Isaac have options...."  The young man said, "No...what can we do for Isaac?"  A few days later, the Tumaini social worker returned to the area where the young man met Isaac; he found him amazingly, and Isaac has been at Tumaini for 2 years now.  But, Isaac wouldn't leave the streets without his buddy, James.  

So, James came with Isaac.  James is 14.  He didn't live on the streets as long as Isaac did, maybe only 2 years.  Isaac had the street smarts, and James had the strength.  When police came around, James and some other boys would set fires - Isaac ran through them because police won't chase people into fires.  James carried Isaac around until his burn scars were fine enough for him to walk.  Isaac has several burn scars on his body.  

But man, James is a good kid.  And Isaac is such a sweetie.  

In January, Isaac, James, and Jamlick (a 10 year old who also came from the streets) all ran away one morning.  My first thoughts when I found out were, "But why are you running away?  I love you!  I've taken care of you, taught you, you come to me when you're hurt and I make it feel better!  and don't you know I love you, I told you yesterday!"  

The parallel between this situation and God with humanity was eye-opening for me.  The LORD loves His people but they run away from Him and follow earthly things.  Supposedly, when the boys came back, they were high. 

They were found several hours and several more kilometers away from our home, and that day I realized that as normal and well-adjusted as the kids seemed, some of them have major psychological-emotional needs.  I don't know why I would've never thought about that.  I guess because I didn't see it in their behavior (like I'm trained to do), I didn't understand the depths of their needs.  Some of them watched their parents die.  They lived on their own as children.  One girl is the only sibling that's not HIV positive.  Some were terribly abused and ran away at 5 years old. 5 years old!!!  Can you imagine having the thought of running away to avoid being killed, at age 5?  But then running away to a place where you either kill or be killed??  

If you're a counselor, consider working in an orphanage someday.  =)  

I left Tumaini on April 17 to stay in Nairobi for a few days before my flight home.  I found out on April 19 that Isaac ran away again - this time with two 14 year old boys, Joseph K. and Joseph M.  The Josephs were brand new to Tumaini and had only lived there for 2 weeks.  It's a miracle that they even came to Tumaini...  They both lived on the streets with Isaac and James, and remember, Isaac and James have now lived at Tumaini for 2 years.  Our social worker went to Nairobi a few times to find them, and after months of searching, he finally found them - both of them...alive, and not in Juvy.  

When Isaac ran away the second time, my first thoughts were, "But I love you!  And I gave you a gift!  I picked it out just for you because I knew you would love it! Why did you run away?"  

Again, what a giant parallel between me giving a gift to Isaac whom I loved, and the LORD giving those He loves the many blessings of His riches.  And sometimes, we still run away.  Wow.  

This one I took in 2 perspectives:

1) God gave us Jesus, who died as a sacrifice, to make us purified and cleansed --- a gift we cannot buy, but is freely given to us out of His deep and sincere love.  

2) I think it's also a parallel of the gifts the LORD has in store for those who believe...  I picked out the gift specifically for Isaac; I knew he'd love it, use it, and enjoy it.  The LORD has great plans for us, but when we disobey or harden our hearts, we miss out on the great things He has for us.  Instead, we run away towards other things that we think will be better.........

I left Kenya on April 22 not knowing where the boys were.  It would have been easier leaving if I'd known they were at home.  But they weren't, they were missing.  Our social worker had made 3 trips to Nairobi in 6 days to search for them.  I'm sure the people next to me while I boarded the airplane wondered what my problem was with all the tears....  But Isaac is so little, it was hard thinking about little Isaac on the streets with guns, drugs, no shelter, no food.  

...........About 3 days after I got home, I learned that the boys had been found, praise the LORD!  They were described as "dead drunk and badly beaten."  None of us could figure out why on earth they would've run away.  It was holiday, so they weren't "getting in trouble at school" (which is why they ran away the first time....no rules when you live on the streets).  They were playing lots of soccer, watching lots of movies, we had just had an Easter feast where they got meat and chapati (a treat).  The only possible thing I could think of, which ended up being part of the reason, was for drugs.  The 2 Josephs had been off of drugs for 2 weeks when they ran away, and they were addicted.  I don't know why Isaac went with them.  

A lot of "street kids" take a mixture of drugs that makes them a) sleep, b) stay warm, and c) forget.  But it ruins their little brains and bodies and they have no idea what it does to them.  

Many people were praying for the boys to be found.  Praise the LORD!  He hears our prayers.  =)  

Sabina's Story

Sabina's Story

John swinging with Moses

Sabina climbing Mt. Longonot

Jamlick teaching John how to play catch

Sabina, the soccer star - she made it to the provincial level in soccer (just before nationals!)

John got dressed ALL by himself! (his pants are on backwards & his shirt is inside-out) =)

Introducing the Tumaini Library!

   

My pictures came from Lindsey yesterday!  Bwena asifiwe!  There are so many I want to post on here...I'll figure out a way for you to see them.  Right now, the easiest way is on facebook.  Well, once I post them on facebook, then that will be the easiest way.  I can share my photo albums with you even if you're not on facebook, just let me know your email!  =)  

One of my favorite experiences in Kenya was putting the library together with the kids.  After a few weeks of grading 6th & 7th grade compositions, it felt wrong to be marking papers when the kids hadn't had any opportunities to improve their writing skills.  They could learn as many vocabulary words as possible, but without reading, how could they know how to create a sentence?  Or a paragraph?  Or 2 pages of an essay?  I realized that I could teach them correct grammar and spelling, but if you're not reading, it's pretty hard to know how to organize a sentence or a paragraph.  

The scoring is subjective, so with 2 teachers grading, it was kind of just "whatever you think."  No particular marks for anything.  Once, I scored the kids based on what they knew and how much each of their essays had improved (creativity, proper sentence structure, etc.), and another teacher thought my scores were too high so she went through and wrote a lower score on every essay.  Without reading them.  It was maddening.  Especially when it came to Samuel Ndungu, the one who has MR.  Since I was teaching him sight words and phonics, I KNEW where he had improved, so I didn't pay much attention to spelling.  He always got the lowest scores - 8 points out of a possible 40.  Oh it made me so sad.  But then so mad other days.  

So anyways, I knew the extra personal finances I had received were to be used at Tumaini, so I just decided to start a library.  I found out that a few people had talked about it in the past, but their ideas were either too expensive or there wasn't enough space.  It's just a basic little "starter" library for them...there's lots of room for growing!  It took months to finally start coming together, but here it is...successful & hoppin'!  

To God be the Glory!

 Some of the girls helping cover the books!

 Looking for a book to read.

 Just wanted to read right here!

 Checking out a book.

Cute Kids with Christmas Blankets

Here's a great blog to read...http://www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com/ . Angie (the blogger) is married to Todd from Selah, they have 3 super cute little girls, and one of their babies only lived for a few hours (read the story, it's so good). She recently visited India, and her last few posts from her trip to Calcutta made me teary-eyed!



Here's some pictures from Christmas that I didn't get to post...some of Lindsey's supporters made fleece blankets & dolls for every kid for Christmas. It was so exciting!



The girls all wrapped their dolls in their blankets - this is how Kenyan women carry their babies. It was adorable.



Howad & Monica Lydia Howad Sophia
Sammy Kairu Doreen
Benson Kevin

what it's like being home again

Some people have asked that I blog about how life is now that I'm back at home.

It's good. =)

Okay that's all, bye!

Doreen Chepkoech & Faith Cherono
Jaclyn

Just kidding. =] My debriefing in Charlotte really helped prepare me for re-entry back into the states. People have said that I'd probably experience reverse culture-shock, but I kept thinking..."really? I'll only be there for 5 months." I think because I've been living in a place where I tried so hard to adjust to a completely different culture, and I spent 5 months trying to be Kenyan, then it kind of makes sense that transitioning back into my usual life could be tricky.

This week has been full of rest, everything's like new again, and some things are new! Shopping wasn't hard like people said it would be. I needed clothes (thank you carbs), so I went shopping. I've had lots of fun catching up on stories that I missed with my family. I was wondering all week, "maybe because I was so prepared for 're-entry' that it's no big deal?" Just like how I wasn't shocked walking through Kibera (Nairobi's largest slum) because people prepared me for what it would be like.

Except yesterday morning, I woke up and realized that Karanja's a real kid who I don't see everyday anymore; Christabelle isn't gonna wake me up singing at 5:30 AM anymore, and Howad isn't going to come to my room asking for my "dustbin" anymore (the little girls would come and take out mine & Lindsey's trash bags...only they'd go through them looking for things that could be toys). I feel like I dreamt that I was in Kenya because it just FLEW by, and everything at home was so new that I didn't miss Kenya yet. It took about a week for it to hit me that I'm not just taking a break in Nairobi this time & will be heading back up-country on Monday, I'm on the other side of the world now.

I think my culture shock is coming slowly...things happen that I totally don't expect to affect me, but they do. Example - I got my hair cut & colored the day after I got home. bad idea. I kinda freaked out everytime I had to fix it, and I thought I was looking forward to fixing my hair! I got so used to not having to fix it, that something so small like "fixing my hair" threw me off balance. I'm happy with it now, don't worry. =)

I didn't think I'd changed much until I got home, either. I don't mind dirt or getting rained on anymore. I'm more relaxed about life because I trust that the LORD knows and will do. I got so used to greeting EVERYBODY, even people I didn't know, that when I see people I know out places, I subconciously expect them to greet me - or I wondered today if it was normal to go say hi to a girl I haven't seen in years & didn't know very well anyway, or was a wave sufficient? haha, it sounds silly, but I can't remember those kinds of things!

I miss my closeness with the LORD. It's still available to me, but I'm not relying on Him for everything everyday anymore...yikes. My pantry is full, I can shower whenever I want to because when I turn on the faucet, water always comes out. I don't have to say a prayer that there will be water anymore. My food is nutritious, I always have clean clothes, everyone understands my English. It's easy to see how people may believe they are self-sufficient. I'm thankful it's only taken 1 week to realize that even at home in America, I really need the LORD's grace DAILY, and life is lesser without His control.

Okay that's all the thinking & typing I can handle right now. haha! More later!

ps: i've been catching up with all my reality tv shows, and i might be in love with kris allen from american idol. oh wait, he's married. ok don't tell his wife that i'm in love with him.